Emotional Roller Coaster

The weekend started off good and then I felt like crap for a few days. Friday night was so much fun scrappin with Novy. I was so productive. So now it is Wednesday and I am still recovering. 6 months Post op from Gastric Bypass and I still have bad days with my stomach. I get so frustrated, and angry at myself. Then I feel worse. I hate missing work as I feel guilty that I am obligated to be there and I have a job to do. Here comes the whirlwind of emotions again.

What is wrong with me? Change of seasons? Lack of sunlight? Lack of socializing? It seems my mood is so low when I get home and usually it perks up when I see Honey B. But still I feel empty, lost and confused. Maybe it is time to review the medications and get back to the doctor again. Or maybe I am just having one of those moments in life where I am trying to find what makes me happy again. Happy? the word itself it overrated. I think I am just content. I know I am stressing about money and that always puts me in a mood. I want something this year in my life to go right, I want to buy a house, pay off my personal debts and get out. Can that happen for me? Just once please let things go my way.

Speaking of socializing-- I have no interest is going out to the bars, drinking or even going anywhere. Thank goodness I have friends that keep inviting me. I really have to find myself again before this gets out of hand. So I try to keep my mind off of things. At work that is easy since I am so busy. But when I get home I find myself cleaning my parents house, doing laundry and making supper to stay distracted. I enjoy helping out and I enjoy the extra energy but I would to use on me for awhile.

Please if there is a god in heaven, let this house thing and finance thing work itself out. And let my mind calm down and let me find the sparkle back in my life. It is there, I just buried it again. And in the meantime I need to depend on friends for awhile to keep me sane. My turn.

Okay I feel little better-- that has been bottled up a few weeks now.
Maybe all I needed was a BLOG. :)

Big Sigh...................