Tick, Tock how the time flies !

Ooops. I have not been here in a while I guess. My bad. So busy between work and home I have no time for Blogs.

But I need to get some stuff out so here I go. So I am down 66 pounds in 2 months. I feel pretty good and I am now having more good days than bad. Finally. I am now getting more bursts of energy and I cannot stand to just sit around. How crazy! I need to get more of a exercise regimen to get this excess skin under control already. Honey B and I have been power walking a lot and going down to the beach to run around-- she must love me now as she is sleeping well at night from the running.

So the Memorial weekend has come and gone, it was a good one-- I had to work at the bar Saturday and Sunday but I went up to the Cabin party and visited lots of friends. I am learning really quick who my friends are and who cares. Ya know, I think it is no one at this point. I always knew the only person that was going to take care of me was me but you want to think someone gives a crap about you. Wrong again and that was proven. I used to have close friends and I find that I just don't anymore. No more invites out and I just don't care. I really don't care- It is almost like we are growing apart. I just don't like when I am intentionally excluded or not told about things that affect me. That happened at the Cabin party. That sucked, I did not want to see a certain person and guess who shows up. That is another blog I tell you. Just another long lost friend that does not know how to balance his life. Other than that the party was fun to see familair faces. And it was a whole new experience to party sober- I think I was the only one there sober- but it did not damper my spirits one bit.

My little brother came to town on Sunday, he lives is Mississippi. He brought his new girlfriend and her twin daughter and son. I was happy to see them and finally meet everybody. My brother was shocked at my weight loss and happy for me. I am happy for him as well. He has bought a house- first time homeowner and they move next week. He is so excited and I am so proud of him. I will have to plan a trip to visit now and see the new place hopefully still this year.

So it was bonding with family on Sunday. Yay. I am finally starting to realize that we are not as close as we all used to be. My mom makes such a production when my little brother is in town and it gets old. She has been pretty unappreciative with me lately too. I don't mind cleaning, picking up her house or helping out. But take it one step too far and expect it and get mad when I have my own plans-- Heck no. And please say Thank you so at least I feel appreciated. I know that I live in my parents house but come on, this is not all my mess and I never say anything about it. Anyway-- so I am definitely pursuing houses this summer so Honey and I can get out and take care of ourselvs.

Back to my brothers. It was like a wake up call this weekend. We have all grown up and grown apart. I tried for years to keep us together and keep us all talking. I give up. My brothers only get along sometimes- they seem to but heads alot for no reason. So now, my older brother is moving to Minnesota. We will all be in different states. To be honest I am so relieved. Less Drama to deal with. But at the same time you realize they are so busy with their own lives they do not even think of anyone else. So why do I have to be the one to worry about Mom and Dad and make sure they are okay? Not fair to me at all. Who is looking out for me? Yeah my phone does not ring like it used to and definitely not my brothers calling asking how I am. So I am getting mean about it. I just have to take care of me. Screw the rest right? Well it seems I am struggling with that right now but I am sure it will all work out.

So here is my nasty post. You will probably find less of me talking about family and friends but that is just how I feel now. I cannot even count on my best friend when I have a bad day. She has so much of her own self created drama it is absurd. Here I am going through one of the biggest changes of my life- losing weight, no drinking and now this too- Friends and family changes? I tell you what I was not ready for all this at once. My mom was very supportive at first and now I get mixed signals from her about my surgery. Who can I run to? I hate to be a burden on anyone as it is. So these are my thoughts- crawl in a cave and be a hermit and talk to my dog? Na....that might just be a temporary fix. Who knows, who cares, my attitude stinks right now. Alright I have to find a happy thought before I come back here.

No worries, I will be fine as usual. Happy Blogging.

Jen