Ms Taz Uncut

August Weather in WI

2007-08-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

Thought I would throw a new post out here. We have had some wicked weather this weekend. Over ten inches of rain has fallen and there are many small towns with major damage. The roads have washed, the traintracks have been uprooted and several areas are flooded. How awful. I feel bad for the people with damages and that have lost there homes to the mudslides. Anyway, my heart goes out to the workers trying to clean up the mess. God Bless.

Jen, Honey and Harley.

New Addition to my Family !

2007-06-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

My First Harley !!

Well my parents sold their house and they are now living in the campground this summer temporarily until their house is built. We have them settled in as of last Sunday. Here goes the story; I missed all this chaos by about 5 minutes. I guess some lady in a car drove back into the campground, stopped and threw a kitten out the window of her car. Many people saw her and started to yell and she took off. The kitten was unharmed and ADORABLE. So I show up after the drama only to find this precious little black striped kitten with big hazel eyes staring at me. Between my parents and I you might as well stamp sucker on our foreheads. She was so friendly and very good with humans. Needless to say I took her home after Grandma went shopping for a collar and kitty items to meet Honey B. A week later now and they love each other. Her name is Harley D- she is a female, about 9 weeks old and the vet said she is healthy and I am lucky. She is litter trained and eating very well on hard food. So now it is the 3 of us girls in the same house. I guess I needed a throw away cat to go with my throw away dog-- people don't realize what they miss when they mistreat animals because now I have the good ones. And they are so cute. Pictures to come soon, I have to download them off my camera soon. Honey B is still my girl, and just ask her about her kitty and she goes crazy- I am so glad they like each other as well- so I keep telling Honey B she has a new little sister-- Cats and Dogs can be friends :)

I am smiling and shining-- now I have two reasons to go home every night and double the snuggling !!

Pictures soon....

Jen

Doggie Calendar Quote

2007-06-27T11:05:00.000-07:00

"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." -- Mark Twain

Doggie Calendar Quote

2007-06-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

This made me smile today and I had to share......

She is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are her life, her love, her leader. She will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of her heart. You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion.

- Unknown.

That about sums up my Honey B, my baby girl. With me through it all. What a good girl....

June Already ?

2007-06-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy couple of weeks. Family gatherings, visits from out of towners and parties to attend. Not to mention my parents are moving and building a new house. Oh yeah and I moved too. I am still trying to get settled in, day by day, bit by bit it looks like mine.

So I think it all just got to me and I have been suffering through a Migraine headache since Sunday. I have not had one this bad for months and months and I am hoping to not repeat it any time soon. I blame the stress I guess. So I am better today and trying to keep my spirits up. I get so groggy from resting, and the medications.

Upward and Onward.... Blog land, my little santcuary to write to express myself and write what I need to get out. Love it.

Stress.....Life as we know it

2007-05-24T07:14:00.000-07:00

Blog land....

Time to blow some steam. I am stressed out. Most days I feel like I carry the weight of many people on my shoulders. This week I am feeling very heavy. I do this to myself I guess, worry about everyone except me. My mom is having trouble with her knees and so worried about having surgery again. I just want her to be well and feel good. They sold their house and are in the process of building and moving. Basically we have been busting our butts getting them packed up. Everyday I am doing something for someone. It keeps me busy but I am ready to have a summer and have some fun. I am sure Mom and Dad feel the same way. I want them to be healthy too. I worry too much. My health has been okay at least, except for sore throat that lasted too long I feel pretty good. I am still losing weight but I cannot stop that now either. Oh well.

What depressing post. I am done now. At least I have Honey B. We are getting settled into the new house, day by day. She is doing pretty good, she has new toys and is starting to play and realize it is our home. We will get there. So much going on the next few weekends. Memorial day is filled with a Rummage Sale, wedding and a Cabin party. Next weekend is the party for my brothers. I hope we will all be together as a family as it won't happen for awhile again.

Happy Memorial Day- God Bless America and our Soldiers.

Moving.....Done !

2007-05-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I am finally moved. Honey B is adjusting to the new place. One day at a time. She goes to Papa's during the day and then I pick her up at night to home. She is doing good, barking a bit at the neighbors and new sounds but that is what dogs do. My neighbors are really cool, one little old lady with three dogs and a family on the other side. We have all talked and it seems to be a good neighborhood. So back to unpacking boxes and sorting through things for me. I figure another week and I should be settled I hope. Happy days to come.....

UPDATE...House Found !

2007-04-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was in a crappy place and mood when I wrote my burnt out and homeless post. So by suggestion of a concerned friend I am writing an update. (Thanks, Peter) I have found a place to rent (possible rent to own) on the Southside of town. They are taking Honey B and I no questions asked. I am kind of excited I guess. I have some serious moving to do this weekend and I am hoping friends are around for help. No rush to get out of Mom and Dad's until next week. On my own, here I go. So that is good news, things are starting to look up I for me I guess. So I am still looking forward and keeping the chin up. Life, its like riding a big giant roller coaster I tell ya.

Boxes and moving here I come.

Doggie Adventures Take 2 & 3.....Naughty Honey

2007-04-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

Spring fever? Maybe that is what it is. Honey has runaway two more times ! Thank goodness for good people in this world and the little dog tag that tells who owns her and loves her the most. ME ! I was so frustrated, but she gave me the look and I caved of course. We had a long talk about running away, it must stop. Sunday some young couple brought both her and Petey back home, My dad thanked them. Monday they ran away again, and my dad found them at the beach down the road. Now, I am hoping it is out of their system and we are done. Spring fever, I keep saying to myself. Let the adventures continue....

Homeless and Burnt out...

2007-04-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

What a week...

The deal for my house fell through. Long story and I don't want to go there again. I tried and did everything I could. Back to square one. I know there are other houses out there too but I just cannot think of that right now. I was set on this one and I WAS happy about it.

We are working our tails off at work to meet the cycle deadline, people are tired and burnt out, including me. I try to stay upbeat for my team but even I can feel the drain.

We spend so much time at work in a week that I see these people more than I see my family-- they ARE my friends. I want to trust, but I get burned. I don't get it. I try and people still get pissed off. Again, I don't get it. Anyway, it has been a long week and I will be happy Friday at 5pm. I have plans for the weekend so that will be nice, my parents have out of town company coming who are like family to us.

Anyway....I need some sleep- I need to relax and not stress out. I am so worried about everyone else and having enough time for everyone and everything that it is hard to think of me. But then, I am a failure right now in my heart so I don't want to think about me.

Alright, that's enough. Gotta go.

Doggie Adventures Take 1

2007-04-19T16:10:00.000-07:00

So Honey decided to go for a run today with her brother Petey boy. Naughty ! I am not sure what happened that "Papa" aka my dad was to be watching them. They never go far and I am lucky we have good business neighbors. I am also glad they have tags so that I did get a phone call at 3:33 today that they had my dog and they were taking her home. Yeah they know where we live too. God bless good people. And Honey is now grounded, no truck rides or bones until this weekend. I am glad she is okay but I need to break her of this habit of running. I have to admit it has not happened in a few months so it is getting better. The trainer says not to punish them when they come home, don't put them in the kennel, no yelling, etc. And we don't, it is more like a party for them when they come back. We are a good family and they are spoiled so of course they come back. Well until the next Doggie adventure, Honey is on House Arrest according to Papa's rules. Oh boy. But she is still cute.... :)

Happy Belated Easter

2007-04-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Easter is over, whoops- I cannot remember the last time I went to church. I guess that makes me a non practicing catholic. I am going hell I know. Oh well, it is warmer there.

It was a busy weekend for me, trying to keep packing things up, painting closets for my parents, and cleaning the house for them. I guess time goes faster when you miss your folks and you keep busy. I realize that is my way of keeping the mind from worrying. My Parents went to visit my brother in MS for a week. I missed them, my brother and sister in law were in an accident with them. The only person hurt was the person who hit them and not family. Just pride, and 2 totalled vehicles. Bummer.

I have an Appointment with the Realtor today, we are getting down to the wire on the closing on this house. I am trying very hard to keep my chin up as I have worked so hard and come so far to try to make all this happen. I have a few cheerleaders like my parents and my friends that are routing for me too. ( Thanks Peter !) Time to grow up, move on, start a new chapter in life. Honey B and I in a house. I can do this, I know it. I am ready.

Speaking of my Honey Baby Biker-- My LOVE. She was so good while my parents were gone... I was so proud of her. She just kept watching me move and pack boxes, I think she is on to me and knows something is going on. Wait until she realizes I bought her a house ! And a yard ! Okay, enough doggy talk. Happy Monday.

Doggie Quote:
" A dog is nothing but a furry person"-- Anonymous.

Doggie Quote 03/30/07 & Honey Update

2007-03-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

I love this calendar...... gave me a smile along with other wonderful thoughts today.

"You do not own a dog, the dog owns you".
--Unknown

We passed our Class last night ! Yes, we are in our 3rd round of training, Beginner, Intermediate, and now Advanced. I am so proud of my Honey B. We have come a long way. Now I can make the appointment to get her tested to be a Pet Therapy dog. I think this will help us both and it would be a good way for me to donate my time a few hours here and there. Sharing Honey with others and making people happy is reward and payment enough.

I just wanted to share some happy thoughts. I am ready for the weekend, A few good movies to watch and some more packing and sorting to do for me.

Finally Friday...

2007-03-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

The Weather is finally changing- Highs in the 60's today and it finally feels like Spring is coming. The sun is shining and that helps improve the mood as well.

What a long week, I put a few too many hours in early this week and I am feeling the burn out today. But it is Friday. I am heading out of town to bartend for a 9 pin tap tournament. Some extra cash to save up before I move to my new house.

I am so ready to move, I am all packed up and ready to go, just need to confirm dates with the lender and get everything done. Wednesday was my last week of bowling and next week is the banquet. Next Thursday is our last week of Training class for Honey B and then we graduate Advanced. WOW, the time has flown, now she can be tested for Pet Therapy in a few weeks. She is doing so good and I am so proud of her. My Girl has some manners- finally. My good girl.

Well things are quiet here in Wisconsin, like I said it has been a long busy week. Tomorrow is my Parents 34th Anniversary- wow, that is a lot of years. I am happy for them though.

Back to work-- HAPPY SPRING TO EVERYONE.

Ode to the Open Road

2007-03-16T04:45:00.000-07:00

In honor of the Spring Season I look forward to getting my Motorcyle out of storage...

You start the game of life with a full pot o' luck and an empty pot o' experience... The object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.

Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.

The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.

Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.

Never do less than fifty miles before breakfast.

If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.

Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.

Sometimes, the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.

When you're riding lead, don't spit.

Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.

Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.

"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end."

New Picture...HONEYB of course

2007-03-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

This picture makes me smile and relax....just to see her snuggled up on my bed.

I thought I would share my warm fuzzies.

Here is the love of my life Honey Biker.

Doggie Quote of the Day

2007-03-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

" A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but everyone prefers his bark"
-Anonymous

Manic Monday

2007-03-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

Manic Monday....

This Daylight savings is really messing me up! I need light to wake up to in the morning ! Now 5 more weeks of dark, I hate it. It is bad enough I am not a morning person and have to set my clock 40 minutes ahead as it is. GEEZ ! Okay enough complaining. By the way, I have new pictures to attach to my blog, coming soon I promise.

Honey B and I hung out yesterday, took a nap, played and packed up all my extra blankets, pillows and linens laying around my parents house. That felt good to get out of their way and get ready to go. My mortage consultant called today and I faxed him over some more "good" paperwork so I am hoping to close a few weeks earlier than 04/24 on my house. I guess the Spring Fever is kicking in.

So many Birthdays and Anniversaries this month. 6 out of 7 of my nieces and nephews have birthday either this month or april-- talk about break the bank ! My Mom, my brother and my parents anniversary as well. Not to mention 6 friends (2 last week and 2 this week and 2 more coming). Man ! But ya know, they are all worth it, going to the parties and seeing them all smile !!

Back to the grind for me.... This is Jenny, out for now.

Remember Me? Blog time.

2007-03-02T06:40:00.000-08:00

Back to blog land for me !

Life has been so busy for me. I have been working a lot of hours due to a new project at work. But the money will come in handy for the new house. My parents house is now on the market as well, so my Mom is stressing that she will not have a place to live in a few months if their new house is not done being built. I guess I might have roommates for awhile.

Other than that, life is okay. I am in a good mood today. I had a terrible cold the beginning of the week but I fought it off and got plenty of rest. I feel 90% better today with just some minor sniffles left. We are getting another blizzard here in WI. Last weekend we had over 22 inches dump in 2 days. They are expecting another 6-12 inches again today or tomorrow. I am sick of shoveling ! I helped my parents dig out last weekend and then we shoveled my brother out since he has an empty house for sale here still. I felt like Shera until the sore arms and back kicked in on Sunday night. Ouch.

Honey B is doing awesome in her Advanced class, I am so proud of her. I cannot wait to start Pet Therapy and being able to help sick people feel better, just by sharing my time and my affectionate dog with them.

There are boxes everywhere ! In my house, in my truck, at my job. I feel like I am surrounded, but I want to be ready to go.

I had trouble downloading my pictures last night but I have new ones of me and Honey B playing in the snow. They are so cute, I just hope I did not mess up my Memory stick. So I get to go to Best Buy tonight and have them take a look.

Well, off to work.

Happy Friday. And Happy March !

I am a HOMEOWNER !

2007-02-06T12:09:00.000-08:00

Yep,

I did it ! I bought a house. The closing is pending right now as the date is set out to April 24th, but I am working with the lender to get the moved up to March. I am a little excited, okay I am really excited. It just seems right to do this now. I get to buy appliances but I do get some tax money back as well.

I hope Honey does well in transition, my parents and I are already having custody arguments. They have offered to take her during the day and then we can work our way into leaving her at my house during the day later on this summer. I am sure Petey boy (her brother and my parents dog) is going to have to adjust as well.

So much to do and so little time. I am going to put down my earnest money tonight and take another look around. My mom is helping me pack and pick out paint colors. Something to call my own. For me, for Honey. Finally.

More to report at a later date.....

Jen

My Favorite Calendar...

2007-01-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

Doggie Quote of the Day............

"If there is no heaven for dogs, then I want to go where they go when I die."
-Anonymous

Doggie Calendar Quote

2007-01-26T09:44:00.000-08:00

Today's Doggie Calendar quote:

'A dog may bark, but his legs will never grow longer'.
--unknown

So true....so true.

FrIdAy BlOg

2007-01-26T09:36:00.000-08:00

I haven't been out here in awhile.

Long week, tired. But it is Friday !! Woo hoo !

Honey and I had class last night- we graduated ! So we are done with Beginner, and Intermediate. On to Advanced class and the Pet Therapy program. She is a good dog and she proved that again last night.

I think I lost some more weight, pants that fit last week, are again too big this week. Still losing but it is coming off slower so it surprised me. A good surprise though I must say. I am still happy where a I am at now. Only 2 more months and it will be a year. I cannot believe it has been that long already ! I look back at all that has changed with my body and my mind is still catching up. I feel so much better finally. Here's to good days to come ;)

Going househunting this weekend again. We will see what happens. My parents are looking as well still so we will see who finds something first. I don't want to be homeless.

Back to work for me....
Good weekend to come.

Better days ahead... I hope

2007-01-17T13:07:00.000-08:00

Well last night with my Dad did not go very well. He must have taken something before the seminar and pretty much slept through the whole thing. My mom was furious. I did not say anything for the rest of the night to both of them. If you cannot help yourself who can you help?

Tonight I go to see the house, the realtor mixed up the days and called me last night wondering where I was- I was not impressed. Let's HOPE tonight goes better.

I feel like someone ran me over. Not sure what my problem is. SAD, SAD, SAD.

Tomorrow is payday- pay the bills and I might go shopping, just a few new things would be nice since I am still going through loads of clothes.

I cannot wait to go home, snuggle my dog and chill.

Super cold here today ! I do not like it. Nor does my body.

Okay, that enough, this just making me feel worse.

My Dad....

2007-01-16T13:38:00.000-08:00

My dad's health has been poor and getting worse for several years now. It seems he turned 50 and fell apart. He is 56 now. He has Type 2 Diabetes, bad knees, bad back, and he is extremely overweight. He is on so many pills even I cannot keep track anymore. I used to worry constantl about him. Now I worry that he does care enough to take care of himself.

I used to look up to him, he was my hero in every way possible.

But with poor health, his outbursts are out of control, his Mood swings are barely tolerable and he falls asleep sitting up. He is hurtful with his words to my mom and he is wearing her out as well.

My Point: Tonight we (my mom and I) are going to the Bariatric Seminar with him. This is the same process I went through for the Gastric Bypass surgery.

I only hope he wants to get better, and not just more sympathy. I have none left for him. He has to want to get better and live longer. I hope that he sees all of this tonight.

My Dad is retired after a long term job for 33 years and getting fired, he now is officially retired, collects his pension, and gets disability that he deserves. He is a Vietnam vet. Yes he has issues from the war and I understand that. To him, it is just another excuse for not feeling good though.

I love him so much but so much has changed with hm. My mom looks forward to retiring in the next year and a half. She wants to travel with him.

If the man upstairs is listening please open my daddy's eyes a little bit wider and let him know his life is not over and there is much to look forward to? Please help his spirits and mood swings too.

Let's see how this goes tonight.......

here I am worrying again about my parents.

That will NEVER change-- they are my Family forever.

Productive Weekend

2007-01-15T10:07:00.000-08:00

WOW.

I had such a productive weekend !! I had a mental list of of everything I wanted to get done and I did it. And then some.

My room is clean, my parents house is clean. My files are organized and updated. All paperwork burned/recycled. My scrapbook stuff is all put away and organized. My clothes are sorted, 2 boxes of hand me downs. Everything else is hung or put away in a drawer. My sheets are washed, comforter and all blankets and throw pillows are clean. My room is mainly packed up to reduce clutter- the totes are put away in storage. WOW. I am so organized I am scaring myself. I even have my bills already paid for the month. I even have my card file ( b-days cards and such) sorted by month ! It really feels good. I busted butt on Saturday to get all of it done and I was able to lounge a bit on Sunday along with Laundry to do. I feel so much better with all of that done and it will be easier to keep up now.

Now for the Best news !!

I went to see a house in Sparta on Sunday-- I LOVED IT. Sparta is about 20 minutes from my hometown and work. Not too bad of a drive. The owners are willing to rent to own and close in a year. Keep your fingers crossed. My parents, my cousin ( he is a carpenter) and I are going to look at it again on Wednesday and then I do believe I am going to write an offer. I am not going to let this one go without a fight-- perfect for me and the Honey B. 3 Bedroom, main floor laundry, 1 1/2 car garage, the house is located next to a small city park. Deck off the back- nice size hard, newly paved driveway and sidewalk in front. Great neighborhood. So I am wishin, hopin, and prayin it all goes well this week and we can negotiate with the sellers.

HOPEFUL to be a homeowner !!

January 15th, 2007

2007-01-15T10:06:00.000-08:00

Doggie Calendar- Yep, Monday again and the calendar made me smile this morning...

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of her tail."
--- Josh Billings

HONEY B Photos

2007-01-12T11:12:00.000-08:00

She is so cute.....

I have to share these....

Top picture is Honey Napping on my bed. This is typical everyday.

The bottom picture is Honey checking out her Christmas Stocking and waiting so patiently for me to let her open it. What a good girl !!

The love of my life right here.....

DOG VOCABULARY

2007-01-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

I just had to share this one from the Doggie Calendar today:

Dog Biscuit [dawg bis-ket]n. small, hard object held over my nose when the boss says, "SIT".

Me, I am the Boss ! (at least of somebody, and she is cute- the Honey B that is)

fRiDaY 1/12/07

2007-01-12T10:45:00.000-08:00

It Sucks to be a female sometimes.

Periods, bloating, cramping, MOOD SWINGS.

Today I am in a good mood. The rest of the week was another story. I just get so frustrated with people these days. I have great friends that I work with so that helps keep me sane.

I went to the doctor on monday with some issues and I am still trying to figure out how to get them resolved. A cyst, an infection- and has the doctor called me back? HELL NO. And I am still in pain. I guess I am just keeping it to myself at this point and trying not to spoil a good day.

Anyway-- the day is going fast and I have friends coming over for dinner. I am looking forward to that, I get to cook for someone !! I love to cook, and my parents do enjoy it but it is nice to cook for others as well.

Menu: Ceasar Salad with Low Fat dressing, Pork Tenderloin, seasoned and cooked in the Rotisierre (cutts down the grease and fat)
Scalloped Corn, and Sourcream/Cheesy whipped potatoes. Tea biscuits on the side and Pie for dessert.

Half of the above I cannot even eat but hey I love to cook so I will watch them enjoy it.

Mom and Dad are out of town for the weekend so it is just me and the puppies. I have so many projects to get done again and a few for them too. Keeps me busy. Looking forward to a long power walk tomorrow and Sunday as well.

Happy weekend....

Hump Day...

2007-01-10T07:15:00.000-08:00

I am trying to make through Wednesday. It seems the weeks drag out so much after a couple of short Holiday weeks.

Nothing new here, I have been working alot as we are pretty busy at work.

My parents are getting ready to put the house on the market to that will be my new project, I really do not mind helping them out as well. So mom was to reduce clutter and get some things packed up and out of the house so it is easier and cleaner to show. They have been looking at houses but they have still not found one they want, getting land and building their own is still an option. We will see what happens for them. In the meantime, I am also looking for a house or at least a place to rent. I am having a hard time because of Honey B. If only everyone who said no to pets could see her cute face. haha. Just kidding I understand why people do not want pets in Rentals. I am actually calling on a house for sale today as well. We will see what happens.

I should call my baby brother down south. I have not talked to him in a week. Just a little chit chat keeps us up on everything.

I have dinner company coming on Friday. My parents are going out of town so I have the house to myself to clean and organize for them as well. I have a list 3 feet long of things I want to get done so I am hoping for high energy all weekend.

Bowling tonight with the girls, it will be nice to see them as I have not been out in a few weeks again. It is nice to have a little social time.

Okay, on with Wednesday and straight to the weekend !!

1/08/07 mOnDaY bLoG

2007-01-08T06:18:00.000-08:00

Quiet Weekend..... Quiet Monday....

Doggie Calendar quote:

"A Dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself"
--Josh Billings.

That made my morning a whole lot better reading that. :)

Are we THERE yet?

2007-01-04T14:27:00.000-08:00

GOD ! could this week be any slower? I want this week to be over and the weekend to come. I have so much to do, and I always seem to cram it into my weekends. I wish we worked less and played more. Funny, just another dream I guess.

Not much new around here, we are so busy at work I am just trying to keep my head clear right now.

I went for 2 walks yesterday and they felt good. I think I will do the same when I get home tonight and that will make me feel better too. Is it something in the air? I just wonder- the weather has been so mild here in WI, I appreciate that. Not as cold as it can be that is for sure. I just need sunlight right now I guess.

Another thing-- I am ready to ride !! Time to get the Motorcycle out and get it tuned up and ready to go soon.....

Honey B is healing well and according to my mom aka Grandma and Papa we think there will not be a scar. No class tonight as the trainer is at a Dog Show, we will pick up next week. Tonight I will practice, SIT, STAND, DOWN, SIT, STAND, DOWN-- but she is doing good with those too.

Miss my brothers, but I know they are ok with their families.

Okay now I am rambling.....

Here's to a good evening.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007

2007-01-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

Well here we still are- 2007 has begun.

I don't feel any different, but here is to a new year and goals !!

Back to work, back to the routine. The holidays are FINALLY over. I am glad. They were good and all, but I am ready to just get things back to normal.

Now I can focus on paying off the rest of my debt and getting out back on my own. Yep it is always in the back of my mind. I guess it is a goal but it is just not happening as fast as I would like it. I remind myself that I do have some patience and I need to use it.

Nothing new to report here. Mom and Dad are well, Honey B is healing up so we hope for fur and no scar. It has been a quiet week, but I needed that. Just to relax and sleep in a few days.

I am not going to talk about New Years much- I had a good time with Friends in MN, I am very glad I went, now after I left I should have went home and ended my night. But instead I wound up out and about until 9:30AM. So I guess I was a little confused that night again by men in the bar. But hey, I am done with the bar for awhile and I have no reasons to go out and celebrate. I just need to keep reminding myself of that and stay home.

Here's to the New Year !!

Honey's Injury Photos/ Happy New Year

2006-12-29T10:39:00.000-08:00

I just had to share some pictures of my poor Honey B. She is by no means suffering but I still feel sorry for her. I hope her wounds heal well, she will always be cute to me, hole in her face and all....

Happy new year to all-- I am trying to get my list of resolutions for the new year down to some manageable and attainable. This is the first time in a long time I actually want to set goals for myself and get somewhere. I guess that means I am getting old or something.

Month end, Year end at work so we are trying to clean up and get things done.

Here's to 2007 !!

Dad/ Papa's Birthday

2006-12-28T13:06:00.000-08:00

Today my Dad is 56 years old. I called him from work to wish him a Happy Birthday, he said it was not his birthday- what? I said when is it? He exlaims, many years ago !! Silly old man. I got him a box of steaks for the grill or his showtime machine. I am sure he will like them- 18 ounce T-bones for him.

Nothing else exciting to report. Honey is healing up, her face looks terrible but there is no sign of infection and she is taking her antibiotics just fine. I hope there is not a big scar. My mom is already calling her names- Scarface. She seems unimpaired by the hole in her face which is also good. I am glad it does not hurt her and she lets me clean it every day. What a good girl. Off to class we go tonight, I am a little unsure if I should take her with that wound but I am going to see what the trainer says. I am pretty sure she will be okay to train.

I have a strange feeling today. I am not sure why or what is going on. Just a feeling that something is not right. Last time I had this feeling, my brothers were having issues. I think I need to call them tonight to make sure all is okay.

Other than that- just a Thursday around here. No snow still and it does not seem like December is almost over and January is approaching. Scary weather for us in the Midwest.

This is Jenny, out for now.

Honey B has a Christmas Injury!

2006-12-26T08:41:00.000-08:00

Well, here we go.

Christmas was a good day except for one thing.... Honey came home with a injury.
My brother has 2 dogs and my parentsm and I brought our dogs to their house. Needless to say we had 4 medium sized dogs and 1 cat running around the house on top of 4 kids and 5 adults. They were all being good and they have a fenced in yard so we let them out to play. The only thing we can thing of there must have been a fight over a rawhid or bone out in the yard. I am sure it was not her brother Petey. My brother thinks it was his dog- Honey's sister Missy. And then there is Toby, he is a little dog but he can be protective of Missy. We were playing cards and Honey was laying down next to me on the floor, I looked down and saw the large gash under her right eye. I kind of freaked out. She had no idea what my problem was so I knew it was not hurting her. We cleaned it out with some Q tips and such and that is when I realized it was pretty deep. I guess I am glad it was my brothers dogs since I know they are current on shots and all. I was not mad at them by any means.

This morning my parents took her into the Vet as I called this morning and they wanted to see her right away. Bless my parents hearts for taking her in on their day off. I owe them big time.

My Parents called around 8:30 and said they were going to sedate her, shave her up and clean out the wound to see if it needs stitches.

So I have been waiting for a call back. They picked her up at 11:00. She is doing good, all cleaned up, we get antibiotics for 10 days and I have to keep her clean. No stitches so that is good. I guess we will call her scarface now !! Geez, what else is going to happen to her. My poor girl. I am sitting here at work and all I can think about is her. I told my Dad to give her a blankie and let her rest. I am only working another 3 hours so then I will see her tonight.

I did take pictures, I will post some after I take more tonight of her face. This little episode is going in the scrapbook. She is, afterall my Honey B of course.

Ok, on with the worrying until I get home.

Post Christmas Post

2006-12-26T08:27:00.000-08:00

I had a great Christmas day. I was surrounded by family and the Honey B. The day was good at my brothers. Santa brought me awesome gifts. I am an avid scrapbooker and I got the ultimate gift. A Cricut, die cut machine. I am so excited to use it. My parents and I had our own little gift exchange on Christmas eve. It was a good time. My brothers house was fun with my four nieces so excited about Santa coming and then we show up with more presents. We ate, played cards and enjoyed each others company. It was a good day. I am glad it is over but at the same time I wish it was longer.

Happy Holidays to all.

Jen

Christmas Eve 2006

2006-12-24T00:09:00.000-08:00

Ho, ho, ho....

Merry Christmas !

I am trying to find a little spirit here. I have to work all weekend but yet I still have to find time to make 2 desserts, casserole, and pumpkin bars for the holiday. Ahhh......

Sleep first, then time for the rest.

Just wanted to post on the holiday and a weekend for once.

Doggie Calendar Humor

2006-12-21T14:36:00.000-08:00

So here is my Doggie Daily Calendar Saying for today-- I just had to share it !

I'm only waiting tables until I land a gig on "Animal Planet", which should be any day now.

-under the saying there are two dogs in aprons serving pizza.

HA HA !!

Holiday Stress Continues....

2006-12-21T14:26:00.000-08:00

Thursday. One day closer to Friday. One day closer to Christmas being here and GONE !!

Even my mom is stressed. She was out shopping on her day off today and calling me for ideas. Wait a minutes, I just realized what I did-- I gave her all my ideas and now I am screwed. MAN !

Too bad Money does not grow on trees. My truck needs repairs and that is my present-$400.00 break job and idle arm on my truck. I want to swear so bad. Forgive me Lord. Okay I think I feel better now.

At least it is payday today and I have what I need to get the rest of my shopping done.

I have been working my Second job at the Video store the last 4 nights and I know for sure the Honey B is feeling neglected. So I got home a bit before 9pm last night and played with my little girl. She is so funny. She started snorting and rolling around the floor so happy that I was home for her. My parents were relieved as she follows them around like she is lost. How cute is that- she is LOST without me. Well, at least someone is.

Okay the mind is racing and I could type all night so I am going to save you all from the nonsense and cut this one short.

See ya Friday....

State of Confusion

2006-12-19T10:51:00.000-08:00

Back to Blog land.

So the weekend was pretty interesting I must say. I was supposed to meet a guy out on Friday night and he decided not to come out. Well lets just say that did not damper my plans. I had a great time out with some friends from work and also ran into other people I have not seen out in a long time.
Here is my state of confusion: I have not been going out like I used to for the last 6-8 months since my surgery. So a lot of people have not seen me. Now, I get funny looks, like do I know you? Or oh my god you look great ! I cannot handle the attention. Nor do I want it. Yes I feel better, and my health is getting better but I am not mentally there with the weight loss yet. I guess I look in the mirror (as little as possible) and I still see the same old Jen. I appreciate the compliments and I am learning to take them and smile. I guess that is what happens when you lose 137 pounds in 9 months. I can honestly say I have tried hard not to change who I am inside though, but I have my moments. Confusion-- it continues on with the male species. Like I said, I am not one for attention, but my ass was touched way too many times Friday night. What the hell? That is mine, I paid for it. I am just not used to be touched anymore so I am bit stand offish. But I just grin and bear it. So did I mention my date did not come out? Well needless to say I had plenty of entertainment for the evening. We all went to see a live band and danced as well. It was fun, but I can only handle a few drinks and I am done. Maybe that is a good thing. Cheap date- but NOT easy !!

So that was my Friday and I spent the rest of weekend thinking about it all. So much confusion in one night. And my so called date called me on Saturday wanting to go out-- I did not get the message and I was not going out anyway. Oh well let's just see if he calls back. The ball is in his court now.

I was glad to come back to work on Monday-- that means Christmas is less than a week away. I just want to get it all over with. More confusion here- the holidays are not the same without my brothers around, and I can tell that hurts my mom. I do not want Holiday hell drama this year. I guess we are going to my brothers so that will help. I am not even done shopping for my nieces. What do you get a 3 & 4 year old who have everything? Yeah, more confusion.

I hope to do something fun for New Years- but I have to figure that out too. More confusion- who is going out? Who do I go out with? God......it never ends. I refuse to sit home on this holiday as I did that for a few years and it was aweful, I would rather be out with my friends or family.

Okay it is only Tuesday- I have to work all weekend- when the hell am I going to shop? Hopefully it will all fall into place and work out. And let the State of Confusion leave me- cause I need to breathe !!

Honey B says Hi to all- she is being a good girl. She learned how to shake- but not a normal shake, you have to say "what's up" and she throws her paw up. SO CUTE !!

She keeps me sane- or at least at a manageable insanity level. Thank God for my dog.

Peace out my bloggers.

Niffer aka Jen aka Shedevil

Friday Socializing...

2006-12-15T08:48:00.000-08:00

Well it is finally Friday! The end of the week always seems to go faster. Why is that? I have some plans to go out after work and hang out with co workers. I also get to meet up with a new friend. I met him last Saturday while I was out with some friends. I was really surprised he actually called. We talked a bit last night and decided to meet out for a drink tonight. He is a really nice guy from what I can tell. Not that I am jumping headfirst into anything, it will be nice to just hang out and have another friend if anything. So maybe it could be a good start to the weekend.

Honey B and I had class last night. She is doing so good with the new commands, heeling, About turns, and stay downs. She is turning out to be a darn good dog with manners. Santa is going to bring her lots of goodies this year !

My little brother was in town this week- he flies out this morning back to MS. I already miss him, but it was nice to have him visit before the holidays. I am still trying to get into the holiday spirit, I must have wrapped 60 presents on Wednesday night and that just made it worse. Everyone keeps asking me what I want for Christmas and I just don't need anything. Clothes are not worth buying at full price as I am still dropping weight and down a size a month almost. Hopefully no one goes overboard on me. I am the type that likes to give, not receive.

It has been a long week, I was not feeling good a few days but I seem to have turned that around. I am having a hard time getting up in the morning still - Stupid winter blahs- I just hate them. So the goal is to try to keep busy and build the spirits up for the holidays. We finally agreed on Christmas at my Brothers so I hope my mom is happy about that. We will meet up in the afternoon and have a dinner and open presents. I just need a little WI snow to make the day perfect.

We had family pictures taken while my brother was here. It has been years since we have done that. They turned out great ! Just thinking of them makes me smile- they will be here in a week or so and I am glad we did it. Like mom says, you never know when that will happen again.

Well not much else is knew besides all my random thoughts.

Have a great weekend.

Prosper Loan Listing

2006-12-14T08:54:00.000-08:00

Tuesday

2006-12-12T11:33:00.000-08:00

Today is our Secret Santa day and Potluck at work. What a festive groupI work with. It was nice to feel the holiday spirit in the air. And the food smell is radiating like a cloud above our department.

I am not feeling the best, some of my medications have changed and after 3 days I can tell. I am always freezing cold, but today I am burning up. Not right. Anyway, enough whining about not feeling good.

They say we are going to have a mild Winter. Unseasonably warm again this week in WI. I cannot complain but I want just a little snow for Christmas.

My baby brother flew in last night from MS. It is good to see him, we are heading to see my older brother tonight and have a family dinner. It will be nice I am sure, but I hope someone else can drive. I am not up for the trip.

My Christmas Pictures are in ! I cannot wait to pick them up tonight and get them mailed out to my friends and family. I also got some self potraits of me for my family since I look a little different now that I have lost 135 pounds. They also get pictures of Honey and I as well. I will be sure to post one soon.

Well I hope everyone out there in Blog world is having a good week. I wish you all Happy Holidays and all the stuff.

Jen

Finally Friday.

2006-12-08T08:38:00.000-08:00

Well at least it is Friday. The part that sucks is all the stuff I have to do this weekend. And I always cram it in to 2 days. How exhausting. I want the Holidays over with. I am still not in the mood even though I try so hard sometimes.
I am in a mood. I cannot even explain it without getting worked up. I have no idea what my problem is. Everything is bothering me. I don't get it. I have a headache too. I should have just stayed in bed and said the hell with it today. But no, I am at work, trying really hard to keep my mood light and get through the day. I have a pile of movies waiting for me tonight to watch. I think I just need some me time. It has been a long week of running around for me every night. So then I will have a fresh start in the Morning and be ready to shop.

Honey was very attached to me last night and this morning. We had a good night at class- she is doing so well, I need to remember to enforce the same manners at home now too. I am very proud of her and I have to say I have a good dog- at least she listens to me. We are working on her listening to others. That will come with time the Trainer says.

My brothers and I are having pictures taking next week. They are driving me crazy trying to coordinate this and where we are going to meet. My Little brother flies in on Monday night and then we are going to visit my Big Brother just an hour from here. Lets see how long we can get along. Why I am stressing about this already I do not know. I think my beef is we just don't talk like we used to and I hate being the middle man. They have wives and kids. I don't- still there is no excuse not to call each other. They are still important to me. Oh well, I could go on all day.

The house hunting is a mess, I thought I had one and now I don't. I am still trying to consolidate debt and keep hitting dead ends. Frustrating.

I just need to relax and not let the holidays and stuff get to me. It will all work out eventually I hope. I just wanted a few things to go right before the end of the year.

Hey I still have my health- I cannot forget that. 135 pounds lighter and I feel pretty darn good. And I have my friends- time for some utilization again, maybe that is all I need is a fun night out again or just a hanging out with the girls evening. Something.......Anything.

December 5th, 2006 Nothing Much

2006-12-05T13:22:00.000-08:00

Tuesday- what an uneventful day of the week. But hey, that is okay with me. Still cold here, they are hoping for a high of 24 today. Brrr....but hey it is Wisconsin.

Mom and I have been scrappin the last 2 nights getting my brothers wedding pictures from Sturgis in a book for them. They are going to cry when they see it. It is turning out so neat. Mom and I are having a good time doing it together too. Honey B hates it when I scrap, she constantly tries to get my attention away and gets in trouble. She is funny like that. So we snuggled last night before bed for awhile. I am so glad to have her around.

I got my first Christmas card yesterday. From my brother, wife and kids down south. It was a cute picture card address to me and Honey B. How sweet huh? I am hoping mine come in this week so I can get them out this weekend. Along with all the Christmas shopping and running I have to do. Okay, okay I am not thinking about all that right now.

Well they say no news is good news right.......

Until next time.

Doggie Quote

2006-12-04T13:05:00.000-08:00

" The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make of a fool of yourself with her, and not only will she not scold you, but she will make a fool of herself too."

----Samuel Butler

Monday, Monday.....blah.

2006-12-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

Well here is another Monday. I think Mondays suck and we should have 3 day weekends every week. They say the typical American works for 87% of their life. What? No way, give me another day off now!!

Anyway, I had a quiet weekend, worked some more and then stayed home. It is COLD !! I cannot handle this weather and it is just the beginning. My goal this next weekend is to buy thicker sweaters.

I made Honey B her own Tie/Fleece Blanket this weekend for Christmas. Spoiled Dog !! I got sick of her taking mine, literally off the bed , onto the floor- upstairs and wherever she chose. So I made her very own Cow patterned fleece blanket ( she is black and white afterall). She loves it and I knew it would never make it til Christmas-- she already has it claimed and her brother Petey fights for a corner too. My blanket baby dog. Okay sorry enough of the doggie nonsense.

Not feeling so good today, I woke up with the down in the dumps yesterday mood and I think it has carried over. I hope it is not the FLU, I think it is just what I call " THE BLAHS". So I will make it through the work day, and head for home to rest up. Mom is not feeling good either so I figure she will hit the couch by 7pm. I always worry about her when she feels sick, both her and my Dad actually. I try not to but I guess it is just my nature to worry about people.

I have to admit it made my day better to come to work- stupid as it sounds but being surrounded by friends and people I like really helps- Thanks Novella and Kristen !! Even if we are in good moods, bad moods, or sad it seems we all help each other out to get through. I like that and I need that more than I realized.

So enough of my "BLAHS" for now. Gonna take it easy with the Honey B and snuggle with her tonight- she always seems to know when I need it.

HAPPY MONDAY my fellow peoples.

Chow for now.

Month End

2006-11-30T12:10:00.000-08:00

Oh my Gosh- tomorrow it will be officially December, and right around the corner will be Christmas !!

Noooo!! I am not ready. I am trying to so hard not to be a scrooge. I have pictures tonight for my Christmas cards- Honey and I are going to pose for one. I thought with the new look and all it would be nice to share with everyone this year.

Guess what I got the HOUSE !! I think the shock factor has not hit me yet since I am still all stressed out about money. I want to get my parents paid off before I moved. Does anyone have a spare Money tree? Just trying to consolidate debt and pay things off so I can make a success of the homeownership. I have the weekend to figure things out as well.

Work, work-- we are so busy here. I was in early and poor Novy had to wake me a few times- I was dozin' at the desk on accident. Whoops !- Thanks Novy for looking out for me. You are a good person even though you are a PH.

I am in a better mood today, loading up on warm coffee to keep the cold out of my bones. ZERO degrees today with the windchill !! BRRRR!!!

Well that is all for my Random thoughts today.

p.s. if anyone has any references on financing leads I would appreciate you sharing...

Wrong side of the Bed.....

2006-11-29T07:46:00.000-08:00

I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but wait my bed is in a corner.
I cannot think of any other excuse for being in a bad mood.
I am not tired, or am I? Stressed out-- HELL YEAH.

All I could think about all night is money, the holidays, the house, my parents, and lastly me.

Stressed out. I just need to remember to take it one day at a time I guess. I sent out some letters to friends about taking a chance on me-- like an investment, lets hope I hear something back. I know it is asking alot but the repayment terms plus interest are all there and I want to do this- with my life- I need to do this to move on and up.

Sorry if I am whining, but I have to do it somewhere.

I am now trying to find my definition of Happy- what does it mean anymore? I just can never settle on it I swear. Maybe that is part of it. Maybe this is normal- trying to always achieve or try something new. Maybe that is my happy. Maybe no or maybe so? Geez, I am confusing myself. I wish life was more simple, although the simple things still seem to keep me content too.

I get to scrapbook this weekend- I have so many projects to do for Christmas it will be a good time to get these done. I am trying to have holiday cheer and all that crap as well. Gosh, I hope my my family does not disappoint me again. I need my brothers still more than they need me, but I am just not sure how to get that through to them. I don't want to give up but I am. Again I am not a bottle of glue that can keep everyone together.

Okay, okay-- stressed, and whiney-- I have to go get some coffee and nice pills.

Happy Hump day.

Holiday Hell....Giving Thanks

2006-11-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

So I just realized I did not post about my Thanksgiving. Well !

Here goes...

Turns out it was just me, Mom & Dad and the Puppies. My brother from MN did not show up at all with his family and 4 girls. That was a bummer. Mom and I got up and went to the store that morning to get some fixins- the Turkey was already thawed out. She was not feeling well at all and it was a bad head cold. By the time we got through the store and home to put groceries away she was ready for a nap. I knew she did not feel good then. So I tucked her into bed, plugged in the Sudacare, and hooked up the DVD player to her TV so she could rest. So then off to the kitchen I went.

Cleaned the Turkey, started it in our Showtime rotiessaire. Made scalloped corn and put it in the oven, fried the gizzards, boiled potatoes and make into whippped, made stuffing, made some dessert Pistachio style and kept the kitchen the whole time. Did I mention I ran to Wal-Mart in the middle of it all? oh yeah I rocked I know. So my Dad he just watched TV and left me be - that was okay though cause everything got done within minutes of each other. He carved the Turkey and set table. Mom woke up long enough to eat with us. It was all very good. I had a bite of everything and I was happy. Dad helped me clean up the kitchen and then I was on a mad cleaning rush- shook out rugs, cleaned up the yard and continued the cleaning frenzy.

Happy Thanksgiving to me. I hope my parents are grateful of me being there and doing all of that for them. It was an okay day overall. At least I had them to share the day with. Lets hope Christmas is okay and my brother makes some time for us as well. Gosh let the next month fly on by !

And I am already tired of Turkey and potatoe leftovers !!

Gobble, gobble-- it is all over.

House Hunting

2006-11-28T13:54:00.000-08:00

Well am I in a situation....

This whole growing up and getting older thing has gotten to me so I have been trying to settle down and look at buying a house.

Well since I made a few credit mistakes in the past I am still trying to recover from bad credit.

I did find a house within my limits and I just got the call that I am approved- WOW- me Approved ? Oh yeah- here is the catch: with 5% down or approximately $5000.00. Uh well so lets just say I don't really save money well. So it was like getting good news and bad news in the same phone call. I just need a chance to get this all to work and get small debts paid off and pay on a mortgage- I can handle both payments, but I need to get the money. I will figure something out, I swear. I cannot live with my parents forever and nor do I want to.

Okay enough of the whining for now.... It is a cute house just a small 2 bedroom for me and the Honey B- big yard and I could put up a garage in the spring. Good neighborhood and everything. Well I will sit on it and keep dreaming. It is almost the end of the year and with the Holidays coming up ( that I dread) I would just like one thing to go right for me this year. Keep your fingers crossed people :)

So I had a good weekend, I did not do much but I saw my big brother which I do not see much. I went out to the bars and had a great time. I need to come out of my shell,keep hooking up with friends and stuff or it is going to be a long winter.

Honey and I start Intermediate class ( level 2) on Thursday. I am pretty excited as this is going to be a real test of her loyalty to me and my patience with her. She is such a good girl already and I want to continue with the manners. It helps have a dog that is cute and minds their manners too :)

Well it is only Tuesday and it feels like Monday all over again. We need sunlight here, they figure we will not see any until the weekend or later and oh big surprise snow too. Funny how the weather has such an effect on your emotions and attitude. That always surprises me.

Here we go back to work again and then the next job....happy Tuesday to all.

HONEY B 1 Year Old

2006-11-22T07:43:00.000-08:00

Yep, I told you there would be pictures !! My little girl is growing up. We start class next Thursday for intermediate. She is doing so good with the commands I hope we continue to improve. I just had to post the pictures to make me feel better. The only thing that makes me feel better is my dog, but then everyone says I am obsessed with her. Screw them, piss on the world.... I am hatin' right now.

My cute 1 year old puppy-- Honey Biker-- makes me Smile !!

Dogs are a good cure for confused heart and makes you realize you have a heart and soul. I still remember the day I picked her up at 4 weeks old and knew my life would change forever, for the better- Thank heaven for little girls ( in the form of puppies of course).

HOLIDAY HELL, its already started.

2006-11-22T07:31:00.000-08:00

Ya know, sometimes I just want to smack the crap out of my family I tell ya.

I love my brothers dearly but I am so frustrated right now.

Here is the story:
My mom tries to make plans with my Brother in MN and his wife and girls for Thanksgiving. These plans started over a month ago. We never hear anything back from them. So I call yesterday to see what is going on. My brother calls my mom back and says they have other plans. I can tell my Mom is again disappointed in my older brother because he cannot seem to make any decisions on his own and my sister in law in again in complete control. My little brother lives down south so we know he is not going to be around. Wait it gets better. So I start wondering about Christmas. Are we even going to get together this year? My mom is already crying because she knows my little brother is not coming with his new wife and family. So now my older brother has already disappointed her on Thanksgiving-- what comes for Christmas? I don't understand how it can be so hard to remember your family on the holidays. I think of my brothers often and call, but do they- no. I want to smack them up. We are too old for this crap. This is why I don't like the holidays. Too much drama. And I live with my folks so I get to hear all the drama and get in the middle of it all. My older brother moved his family to MN- which is good- I am happy for them. But I never thought it would turn out like this and be such a big deal to get together. He needs to realize that everyone is busy and it is not just about his wife and their plans. I hope my little brother has good holidays but at the same time I wish he could be here too.

Thats it......I am gonna move and get out of the middle of this. I cannot keep the family together I am not a bottle of glue. I am actually more like a ticking time bomb of emotional issues.
It just never ends. I am so confused- I want scream at my brothers, they suck. But I love them to death. I do all the worrying about my parents. What about me? I am so confused right now. BLOG make me feel better. Make this all stop. Give me a BREAK, BRAIN BREAK please.......

Time for a good cry or better pills.

AMERICAN HUNKS

2006-11-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

FUN, FUN !!

So I had no plans for the last weekend. I checked my phone before leaving work on Friday night and my sister in law had called. American Hunks were coming to town ! Now, if you don't know this fine group- let me explain. They are the Finest form of Male Dancers/ Strippers I have ever seen ! So we were off to a good night, I went to the bank to stock up on one dollar bills as well. I have not drank but a few times since my surgery so I thought I would have a drink or two.

SO MUCH FUN !! The guys were buff and beautiful. Lets just say it was good to be out and about for a night. The night seemed to last forever and ever. But all the fun had to come to an end..... I will never forget the Ice man. #122.

Okay, okay back to reality. The weekend was pretty quiet after my Friday night adventures. I seem to stay pretty close to home these days and with the weather getting cold I don't even want to leave the house anymore. I am not looking forward to the WI winter weather at all this year.

I just had to share about the Hunks as it was a great night. A Night to not forget, a night that reminds me of why I am a woman and that I am really still young at heart.......

Happy Birthday Honey B

2006-11-16T13:15:00.000-08:00

Today my precious Puppy is 1 year old !! How time flies. I have had her since 4 weeks and I cannot believe we have made it this far. We also start intermediate class for training in 2 weeks- level 2. Yep, my little girl is growing up and actually trainable. She still makes me so happy. I went and got her a Doggie cake with a big red ball in it, and Petey boy- her brother gets a Giant cookie bone. Should be fun to get home tonight and see them eat their treats up. There will be pictures after the party I promise :)

Not much else new around here. I am trying to be civil with the parents and yet still avoid them. I did have a normal conversation with my mom last night. I don't know if that is good or bad. I don't know that I care, see that is the problem-- I care less and less.

I hope to get some Christmas shopping done this weekend, I came into to some extra money from Dog sitting for a friend. Bless their heart. I already have a pile of presents in the closet but it just never ends.

Well I cannot think of anything else to say-- My mind is wandering this late in the afternoon and it is so cold outside.

Keep warm people. Peace.

Evil Thoughts...

2006-11-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

I just had the worst weekend ever. I get home on Tuesday and my family misses me right. WRONG !! By Friday night I am fighting with my mom over the most pathetic thing ever. Me picking on her dog. Give me a break, I really think she needs her head checked. She can take one little petty thing- twist it up and around and throw it back in my face to make me feel like a total loser. DOUBLE STANDARDS are a real big problem for her I do believe. So yeah we yelled at each other and I split, I was not going to get treated like crap because she was in a bad mood. I live with my parents. And I love them very much, but my time is running short. I do owe them money but my debt has gone down from many, many thousands to just a few personal debts. That was my point of living with them. Nothing is every going to be good enough for her- no matter what I do. She gets in a bad mood and points out every fault and even makes some up. That hurts and I am tired of being the fall guy. So I am on a mad mission to get a personal loan, pay them off and get the hell out. Honey will pay the price if I do not get out and that is not fair either. So we did not speak all weekend. That sucked, but I have nothing to say when she flips out. My dad never knows what to say since they get along better when she is mad at me-- Go Figure? All these years I listen to their mood swings and fights and this is what I get in return. I hope like hell their health gets better and they can take care of themselves since when I am gone they might realize how much of a help I am and how much I worry about them. NO MORE, time for me, time for Honey, Time to GET OUT. So I am going to rent a place in Caledonia I think for a year-- it will be nice to just have a place of my own and then from there I can decide if I want to stick around the area or move out of state. Like I said, Time for ME.

I know this was not a nice post but I was so frustrated and I am sick of things not going my way. Just this year I want one good thing to happen for me. Yeah I have lost 127 pounds, I feel good about that. But it is time to move on...... Anyone have some money to Loan me? Yeah I am working on that part.

FYI-- Honey B graduated Beginner Training Class at Petsmart on 11/9/2006. Woo hoo !! So we are going to enroll in Intermediate started 11/30. I am so proud of her and she has come a long way since this summer. My Puppy Girl will also be 1 year old on Thursday. Gosh how time flew. She makes me so happy, the one thing I look forward to everyday is seeing her.

Okay ending with happy thoughts...... Damn it is Cold !!

The Mississippi Adventure is over.... HOME.

2006-11-08T13:58:00.000-08:00

Well I am home. I need to get caught up on sleep-- I kept forgetting where I was last night, the pain of coming home after a trip. All went very well-- I was so happy to see my little brother and his family, new house, etc. He seems very happy and I am so glad. I miss him so much. I wish he was closer all the time. But I will get over my whining someday. I always miss my brothers, even when I am with them. Anyway, that is another story for another day. Enough of my pity party.

The Southern Folks are always so respectful. I think we need some of that up here in the North again. Good old fashion manners. Even I need a lesson in review of those too. Nick has some really good friends and family down there and it is always good to meet them and hang out. We had a cook out on Sunday and bunch came over. Nick got to use his new grill courtesy of Mom and Dad as an Early Birthday/Christmas present. His birthday is Thanksgiving. He was so happy grilling it was nice to see him so content with a house and a grill-- oh and a wife :)

Time is up!
It was nice to get back to work and see everyone. I guess I depend on that more that I realize most days. These "people" at work are my friends too and they make me smile. That is kinda nice. Mom and Dad missed me too- I even got hugs from my Pops. Honey B missed her brother but I think she missed Papa and Grandma more :). Back to work, back to life, back to trying to figure out what I do next.

I had a message to call the Manager in Huntsville. He offered me the job but could not match my paygrade. I had to decline since I did not want to move and take another pay cut. Darn it. I will keep looking, keep watching and waiting. In the meantime I also got a call about some financing I was waiting to come through lets hope for some good news. I just need SOME good news for once for me.

Ok just wanted to post some updates. Glad to be back in Wisconsin for now.

The Mississippi Adventure Begins

2006-10-31T09:24:00.000-08:00

Tick, Tick....

Watching the clock-- I leave in a few hours for my Road trip. Honey and I, Nick is not coming. Oh well we can do this. Mom and Dad helped me pack the car last night, made me felt like I was 18 all over again. They are so worried and sweet, making sure I have enough of everything. Grandma is getting Honey B some bones today for her road trip as well. I need some time off, I need this break so bad. I need to see my brother and his family and have fun for a week with him. It will make me feel better.

I need something-- what else it is I don't know.

I put my applications in for 2 jobs in AL today-- is that what I need? I don't even know, just an opportunity I guess.

I have good friends here (thanks for the support Novy), and good family.

Something leaves me unsettled. Maybe someday I will find it.

Until then, let the search continue, And let the Adventure begin.

See YA'LL in a week or so.

Jen

Mississippi Adventure 2006 Part 4

2006-10-30T09:41:00.000-08:00

Packing....

Honey has a bag, and a tote.
I have 3 bags and a box ! Yikes, mom's car is looking smaller and smaller. But we will make do and it will all fit. I have some errands to run tonight, get my pills filled and some sweets for the road and we are ready to go for tomorrow.

Nick may or may not be coming up-- it is a last minute decision from his boss and he will not know until this afternoon, bummer. Either way I do get to see him so no problem. He made a comment about Slaughtering Hogs this week so I am a little nervous about that, I am not a farm girl by any means. And I don't want to see Honey get eaten by anything either.

I am so excited for a trip- I have the mileage and gas money figured out as well.
Time is ticking, just one more day and I am off ! Southern Boys here I come !!

Did you know......

2006-10-30T09:39:00.000-08:00

More than one million dogs have been adopted because of the fact that Benji was rescued from an animal shelter......

Just some doggie trivia for you !

Mississippi Adventure 2006 Part 3- Good News !

2006-10-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

I just got a call from my baby brother in MS. He is going to be running a truck up next week, he works 1 week on and 1 week off at his job- 12 hour days. So that means he is going to be in WI and drive back down with me. I am so happy to have the company-- that will make the drive faster and we can drive straight thru. I have not seen him since August so it will be good to spend some time together. We are still trying to convince my Dad that he should come but he is being a really big grouch about it. I really don't know why. Anyway-- I just had to share. I am excited for my adventure to begin and the time off even if it is just a week. I am going to get packing this weekend and get the car situated as well. Make sure Honey B's kennel fits in there all folded up. Well that just made my day a whole lot better. Lets see how the rest goes. At least it is Wednesday already. TTFN.

Honey B 11 months Old

2006-10-24T13:54:00.000-07:00

The Life eh? New pictures of my Honey B-- such a cutie !!

Doctors, Bloodwork, Pills, Confusion?

2006-10-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

So I went to the doctor yesterday, I just cannot seem to get rid of this stuffy/runny nose. Turns out I have a sinus infection- woo hoo- liquid antibiotics for me, easier on the tummy. I also had some blood drawn since they always seem to want like 2 pints when I am there to check every level in my system from iron to hormones I swear. I like my doctor and all but I am ready to just go once a year and be done like every normal person. Normal- what is that. I have lost 125 pounds and according to my medical chart I am still considered Obese. Fine, I accept that-- Obese or not I need to be happy with who I am. So eventually I am going to be a happy Obese person. Can they add Happy in to my chart too? Yeah well enough of my smart comments. Not much else new here-- the bursts of energy are still coming and I don't mind them at all. I get a lot done after work, but I get so sick of the running around some nights.

I went to look at a few houses on Sunday. I think my mom is freaking out a little bit right now. Friday I decided to apply for two jobs thru my current company that are located down south. Yep about 800 miles away from home that is. She thinks I am full of it but I have my resume updated and I have to complete the application this week. My boss said it never hurt to show interest as well. There is nothing holding me here except family-- I know how important they are in my life but I need to consider me too. Maybe I need a change- maybe that is the feeling of unsettled I get and the panicking every time I look at a house. That is so permanent and grown up. Am I ready for all of that? Am I going to be completely happy in this town the rest of my life? Just another one of the many moods of me. My brothers were able to move ( maybe not without guilt) so why can't I? I worry about my parents but I need to take care of me. We will see what happens- I am trying to be optimistic here. Something has to go right for me this year I hope. Alright a few notes down and I have my head sort of cleared I think. Tonight Honey B and I are off to the Petsmart Howloween party-- should be fun !! Until next time......

Mississippi Adventure 2006 Part 2

2006-10-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

Tick Tock-- The time is winding down and the trip will begin in 7 days. My mom suggested that I take my Dad with me, not a bad idea as long as we can get along for that long in the car. I am not sure if he is going or not. I know that me and the dog are fore sure and it will be a fun time. I have to pack and get things sorted this weekend. I know my mom has boxes for me to take down to the grandkids of course. I am excited to see my Baby brother since it has been since Sturgis ( august) and I want to see his new house. I need a break and a trip right now-- this will be so good for me. Too bad it takes 900 miles to make me have a happy thought. Open road here I come-- and I am already getting advice from Nick not to stop at rest areas after dark in certain areas- I am a big girl, I will be okay I tell him, besides I will have my attack dog Honey B with me.........to be continued.

Emotional Roller Coaster

2006-10-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

The weekend started off good and then I felt like crap for a few days. Friday night was so much fun scrappin with Novy. I was so productive. So now it is Wednesday and I am still recovering. 6 months Post op from Gastric Bypass and I still have bad days with my stomach. I get so frustrated, and angry at myself. Then I feel worse. I hate missing work as I feel guilty that I am obligated to be there and I have a job to do. Here comes the whirlwind of emotions again.

What is wrong with me? Change of seasons? Lack of sunlight? Lack of socializing? It seems my mood is so low when I get home and usually it perks up when I see Honey B. But still I feel empty, lost and confused. Maybe it is time to review the medications and get back to the doctor again. Or maybe I am just having one of those moments in life where I am trying to find what makes me happy again. Happy? the word itself it overrated. I think I am just content. I know I am stressing about money and that always puts me in a mood. I want something this year in my life to go right, I want to buy a house, pay off my personal debts and get out. Can that happen for me? Just once please let things go my way.

Speaking of socializing-- I have no interest is going out to the bars, drinking or even going anywhere. Thank goodness I have friends that keep inviting me. I really have to find myself again before this gets out of hand. So I try to keep my mind off of things. At work that is easy since I am so busy. But when I get home I find myself cleaning my parents house, doing laundry and making supper to stay distracted. I enjoy helping out and I enjoy the extra energy but I would to use on me for awhile.

Please if there is a god in heaven, let this house thing and finance thing work itself out. And let my mind calm down and let me find the sparkle back in my life. It is there, I just buried it again. And in the meantime I need to depend on friends for awhile to keep me sane. My turn.

Okay I feel little better-- that has been bottled up a few weeks now.
Maybe all I needed was a BLOG. :)

Big Sigh...................

Mississippi Adventure 2006 Part 1

2006-10-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

Well I have decided to take a trip to Visit my Little brother in Mississippi. So in about 3 weeks I will going on a road trip with my dog to head south for a week. I am not sure if I am flying or not but I plan on going either way.

My brother recently got married in Sturgis, SD this year at Bike week. His Wife has two twins- boy and a girl that are 6. They are adorable and great kids. The countdown at their house has begun for my trip there. That made me feel good and got me excited to see them as well. So they are also have a cookout/ picnic when I get there as well since her family and my Brother's friends want to meet me. I feel kind of like a celebrity heading for the south !! I have been to visit him only 1 other time since he moved 4 years ago. I need to make it more of an annual trip to see him since he comes back home so much as well. It is only fair. So we will see how the planning and packing go soon. Let the countdown begin....

October....Fall weather and falling leaves.....

2006-10-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well it is that time of year again. The crisp cold air is upon us and the trees are changing colors getting ready for the next season. The nice thing about living in the Midwest is the changing of seasons, it helps you get mentally prepared for what is to come as well.

I love Fall, the air is so clean and the temperature is a bit more tolerable as well. Since my Gastric bypass I am not so tolerant of the cold weather so we will see how this winter goes. I already have my flannel comforter and sheets on the bed if that tells you anything.

My Friend KC had her Gastric Bypass surgery last Tuesday. I was so worried about her I gave myself a belly ache thinking about it all day. All went well with her and she is at home healing just fine. I wish her the best and hopefully she will have a good recovery. Well I am down 118 pounds and 11 pants sizes- how crazy. I think in the last month it has finally hit me. People say it is now pretty obvious as well. So I still look in the mirror and wonder who that is. But not much has changed to me so there is still a glimpse.

My Dog Honey and I are going through Training class. So far we have learned: sit, down, take it, leave it, drop it- and some very good walking skills. I really like the trainer and I value her opinion. Honey is doing good and so far we are learning to listen as planned.

Not much new in my life right now- just trying to get my finances all straight so I can get serious about buying a house and getting on with it. I get so afraid of being all grown up but I know I have to do this soon. I cannot believe it is only Wednesday. It feels like the longest week of my life, I need a quiet weekend of no running around and that is exactly what I have planned. Last 2 weekends have been hectic with Oktoberfest and a Scrap a thon in Fairmont, MN.

Okay back to work, break is up.

Mourning....

2006-09-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

This month has been so hard, and it just got worse. When the month started, it was Labor Day weekend and my parents went out of town. So I was house/dog sitting. 3 Dogs and the cat. I was having a good time on the Sand bar with my Big brother and his family that were in town. Saturday night I decided to go up to the cabin for the yearly bash. I decided to take the puppies- Honey and Petey with me. Now, they had been running all day on the river so I figure they would behave and be tired. OH no, nothing is that easy.

About 9pm the fireworks and boomers start. I am paying close attention to where the puppies are so they know it is okay. It is Petey's first time at the cabin. So I have both of them on their shock collars and I made sure they were working. No sooner do I turn around then Petey is GONE. Just like that- gone. Now the cabin is on acres of land with farms surrounding out in the country. I start calling out for him, Honey is still close and she can sense something is wrong. No luck. Before I knew it was almost midnight and he was still missing with no sign of him. I was starting to get a little nervous as a lot of people were leaving the cabin party and things were starting to quiet down. I could only hope he would come back. Time just continued to tick by and I kept looking. It was 5:30AM and still no Petey.
This continued for 2 more days. On Sunday night the panic started to set in when we hit the 24 hour mark. I went home about 9pm to check Duke ( my parents older dog) and Clyde the cat and get some flashlights.

I got home and Duke was acting sort of strange, he usually comes down to the gate and I let him out. He forced me to go in the house. As I open the front door I see the cat laying on the rug at the bottom of the steps. And then I looked closer. He was not breathing and his mouth was open. I instantly freaked out. Honey started to lick him and try to get his attention. Duke was barking and I was screaming. I could not believe this was happening to me. So my parents are still of our town, their puppy is missing, the cat is dead and I have not slept in now going on 2 nights. I had to call for help, I was having a meltdown. I called my friend Kristen and she came to my rescue like an Angel sent straight from Heaven. I had no recollection of time at this point. She came to town, helped me with the cat- we put him in a box outside for the time being, and then on our way to the Cabin to continue our search for Petey.

To make a long story a little shorter-- some of my friends were awesome and definitely there for me, on the other hand some people were in short a disappointment.

The search continues on until Monday Morning of Labor day. I finally call my parents to let them know what is going on. I was not ready to give up. The boys came up with Four wheelers and we also continued to look on foot. My heart was just not ready to say Petey was gone. They were just puppies- 10 months old in the woods, in the rain. In my now lack of sleep for 3 days I had printed up some pictures and flyers of Petey and his information-- I was dropping them off everywhere in the surrounding town out by the Cabin.

Honey was exhausted and having a hard time as well. She actually had a seizure again as well. I think it was just the situation and the stress, so again we had a rough night.

In my ongoing search, I stop by a Rummage sale to ask the local ladies for help as well. Turns out I got quite a deal on bags of clothes as well.

I continued my search and and I was not going to give up until the sun went down again-- this is day 3 as it was. Just as I am about to go home and meet up with my parents I get a call on my cell. It was the lady from the Rummage sale. Turns out her mother knew all these people in the small town and called everyone to see if they had seen Petey. HE WAS ALIVE ! He was at her brother's house in town, they had just found him walking down the road. I burst into tears and said I was turning around and on my way.

These are people I will never forget- good people, small town who all seem to care. I was so happy to have Petey back, Honey was so tired and we were ready to go home. I said my Thank you's- over hundreds of times to them, offered Money and they declined. They were just happy to see him back with me. Words could not express how grateful I was.
What a fast drive home ! Mom was happy to see Petey and mourning the loss of the cat. Overall it was nice to just be home.

So this is when the Mourning started- Clyde had passed on to Kitty Heaven. He was old and it was his time I guess, but you are never prepared. Yesterday my parents old dog Duke went to the vet as well. It was his time as well. He had not been doing well the last week with falling up the stairs due to bad hips, heaving breathing due to a bad heart and now he was getting sick all over the house. No more suffering for Duke, it was his time to go in peace.

So as you can see September has been a month for Mourning. It is amazing how you can get so attached to pets and they mean to much to you. Some people understand this and some don't. Just like my mom says- who would have thought when we picked up the Puppies last year December that we would have known we were going to lose the two old ones in the same month this year.

Duke and Clyde are together hanging out and in no pain. I just know it. On the other hand I have my puppy Honey and Petey is back home where they belong. They are a little confused right now but at least they are there to light our lives back up. I am so grateful for the pets I have had in my life, they keep me sane.

I just had to share part of my story and get it out. God bless our animals for they are the happiness and spirits that live on in us forever......

The Many Moods of Me

2006-09-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

Time for a Blog. Time for random thoughts. Summer is gone, fall is coming. Welcome to Wisconsin where the air turns crip and the leaves start to fall. My favorite time of the year. I am cold all the time already. I have a feeling it is going to be a long winter. I am trying to make a better effort not to complain out loud about being cold since my surgery so I do not drive my co-workers nuts.

I had my 6 month check up since Bariatric Surgery today. 112 pounds !! The before and after pictures are already amazing at 6 months. I think it is finally hitting me. 10 pants sizes down and Goodwill is my new shopping friend :). I think I am happy and getting over the emotional humps finally. Some days I feel like I am behind a video camera watching my life change before me though. That is a little confusing. My friends have definitely changed for the better. My attitutde, my energy and for the first time I have goals. I am still a little reluctant on men, but that will come with time, I am not lonely by any means and I stay busy. Sounds convincing right?

My life seems back on track, or at least I hope so. My finances are almost in order and it is time for Honey and I get our own place again. Whether it is renting or owning I will be happy with my own space. I love my parents dearly and I want to make sure they are okay. I know I will still be around when they need me, but for now I need to get out and grow up.

I am sitting here on break, zoning out so I am going to cut this one short for now.
So much to do, so little time to do it.

T.G.I.F.

2006-07-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

Finally Friday !!
It seems the more years I work a job the longer a week of 5 days becomes. I think we should work 3 1/2 days and play 3 1/2 days, don't you agree? That would be more even to me to have a life.

Not much new around here, I have been getting out a bit and trying to be social this summer. Last weekend was spent at the beach and pool swimming and hanging out with friends- what else is there to do when it is 100 degrees outside? So this weekend I have to Bartend at the Legion for a Cancer benefit- good tips.

Honey B and I went to a few Softball games last night and met the girls. It was fun to hang out and talk and poke fun at the guys. I think I will get back to myself eventually.

Sturgis 2006 is coming up fast and I need to decide if I am really going. I am usually so gung ho by now but everything is so up in the air with Nick and my parents going. I might just head out there by myself for a few days and come home. It would be an excellent adventure :)

Well, not much else to say here, just wanted to get a few words down.

Tata for now,

Jen

I'm Back.....

2006-07-13T12:06:00.000-07:00

Okay so it has been awhile. Life has been interesting- up and down and all around. So I thought I would Blog and get it all out again.

So I am now about 4 mths post opp from the Gastric Bypass- 80 pounds down !! I am finally feeling better and able to eat some normal food. It is amazing how my tastes have changed and I eat so much healthier. I like things with flavor and spice as well. So far so good. I stand in front of the mirror and wonder when I will be able to tell. Everyone else says they notice but I don't. I am starting to think I am going nuts. So back to the psychiatrist I go- she is helping me through everyone complimenting me ( drives me crazy) and being confused. My mom does not understand what I am going through so I just don't tell her I need a little boost. Just a rut and I will get through it. So much is changing at once I guess I was not prepared.

So I am finally getting out and being social-- I am trying so hard the last few weeks but it has been kinda fun. I went out Sandbarring on the river for 4th of July- that was so fun, Honey B loved it and swam all day long. It was good to be out with my Friends Carolyn and Angie again. They are good people. I went camping with other friends Novy and Kristen- that was a good time, the rain spoiled our 2nd night out but it was still good company and nice trip away from home. I love them as I always laugh so much with them. I swear I can tell them anything and trust them. There are few people in my life like that. I also went Tubing in IOWA last weekend with Honey B. The river was shallow I hurt my butt so bad on rocks and considering Honey B was on my lap it was like dead weight. It was still fun, I laughed at everyone else alot as they were drinking and I was sober. That was okay though. It rained on us and got a little cold but hey it happens. I was social.

So let the adventures continue this summer, I am hoping to hang out at the Beach and Pool this weekend with Friends again. Should be fun.

Other Recent Drama:
My closest friend and I have gotten distant the last few months. I am going through some stuff and I needed more me time. She finally said something to me last week and felt I was neglecting her. I felt so bad because that was not my intention. I just needed to handle my own issues and family stuff first. There is this big party coming up for Jody and I- for our Birthdays and that struck a nerve with her too. I hope it all works out. I want my new friends and old friends to get along. We went to Rudy's last night for Chili dogs and talked for over an hour. I think things are a little better. I just believe I need to make time for everyone. We have been friends a while and I am not ready to lose that.

Mom and Dad are doing good- Sturgis 2006 is up in the air because Dad might have surgery on his back. We will see. My little brother Nick is not sure he is going cause his girlfriend has a bad disc as well. I AM GOING NO MATTER WHAT. Even if it mean for a fews days by myself I think it is time I deserve.

My older brother moved to Rochester last week, my little brother is engaged and bought a house last month. So much to think about- so little time.

I have included a picture of my most precious Honey B. She is my baby....so cute.

Well that was a nice break. Blog at you later.

HAVE A MOST EXCELLENT SUMMER.

Tick, Tock how the time flies !

2006-05-31T11:06:00.000-07:00

Ooops. I have not been here in a while I guess. My bad. So busy between work and home I have no time for Blogs.

But I need to get some stuff out so here I go. So I am down 66 pounds in 2 months. I feel pretty good and I am now having more good days than bad. Finally. I am now getting more bursts of energy and I cannot stand to just sit around. How crazy! I need to get more of a exercise regimen to get this excess skin under control already. Honey B and I have been power walking a lot and going down to the beach to run around-- she must love me now as she is sleeping well at night from the running.

So the Memorial weekend has come and gone, it was a good one-- I had to work at the bar Saturday and Sunday but I went up to the Cabin party and visited lots of friends. I am learning really quick who my friends are and who cares. Ya know, I think it is no one at this point. I always knew the only person that was going to take care of me was me but you want to think someone gives a crap about you. Wrong again and that was proven. I used to have close friends and I find that I just don't anymore. No more invites out and I just don't care. I really don't care- It is almost like we are growing apart. I just don't like when I am intentionally excluded or not told about things that affect me. That happened at the Cabin party. That sucked, I did not want to see a certain person and guess who shows up. That is another blog I tell you. Just another long lost friend that does not know how to balance his life. Other than that the party was fun to see familair faces. And it was a whole new experience to party sober- I think I was the only one there sober- but it did not damper my spirits one bit.

My little brother came to town on Sunday, he lives is Mississippi. He brought his new girlfriend and her twin daughter and son. I was happy to see them and finally meet everybody. My brother was shocked at my weight loss and happy for me. I am happy for him as well. He has bought a house- first time homeowner and they move next week. He is so excited and I am so proud of him. I will have to plan a trip to visit now and see the new place hopefully still this year.

So it was bonding with family on Sunday. Yay. I am finally starting to realize that we are not as close as we all used to be. My mom makes such a production when my little brother is in town and it gets old. She has been pretty unappreciative with me lately too. I don't mind cleaning, picking up her house or helping out. But take it one step too far and expect it and get mad when I have my own plans-- Heck no. And please say Thank you so at least I feel appreciated. I know that I live in my parents house but come on, this is not all my mess and I never say anything about it. Anyway-- so I am definitely pursuing houses this summer so Honey and I can get out and take care of ourselvs.

Back to my brothers. It was like a wake up call this weekend. We have all grown up and grown apart. I tried for years to keep us together and keep us all talking. I give up. My brothers only get along sometimes- they seem to but heads alot for no reason. So now, my older brother is moving to Minnesota. We will all be in different states. To be honest I am so relieved. Less Drama to deal with. But at the same time you realize they are so busy with their own lives they do not even think of anyone else. So why do I have to be the one to worry about Mom and Dad and make sure they are okay? Not fair to me at all. Who is looking out for me? Yeah my phone does not ring like it used to and definitely not my brothers calling asking how I am. So I am getting mean about it. I just have to take care of me. Screw the rest right? Well it seems I am struggling with that right now but I am sure it will all work out.

So here is my nasty post. You will probably find less of me talking about family and friends but that is just how I feel now. I cannot even count on my best friend when I have a bad day. She has so much of her own self created drama it is absurd. Here I am going through one of the biggest changes of my life- losing weight, no drinking and now this too- Friends and family changes? I tell you what I was not ready for all this at once. My mom was very supportive at first and now I get mixed signals from her about my surgery. Who can I run to? I hate to be a burden on anyone as it is. So these are my thoughts- crawl in a cave and be a hermit and talk to my dog? Na....that might just be a temporary fix. Who knows, who cares, my attitude stinks right now. Alright I have to find a happy thought before I come back here.

No worries, I will be fine as usual. Happy Blogging.

Jen

Feeling Sick....

2006-04-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hey All,

Yeah it has been awhile and I need to get some stuff out of me. Overall it has been a good week so far. I went on my first Ride on Saturday- Flood Run. It was a beautiful ride but very cold. The rain managed to stay away for us though. I went with my Big Brother Peanut and his wife Carrie. It was nice to ride with family.

Sunday was a lazy day- I did not feel very good. I keep getting these headaches and they are not sure what from so I was on pain pills most of the day. And the puking started. For the last 3 days I have been puking every morning. I just don't get it-- it does not matter what I eat either and my stomach (pouch) is hurting me today. So I finally called the doctor- he is giving it 1 more day or I have to come in and get checked out. Lucky me. So I am going to go home and rest tonight and see if this might not be the flu ( keep your fingers crossed).

My Dad has been on bed rest for over 4 weeks now, something wrong with his back again. He is getting to be a really big jerk about everything and the name calling has to stop. I am sure he is stir crazy but there is no need to talk like that to me or Mom. So I have no sympathy left for him, he goes to a new surgeon on Friday again- like cutting into an unhealthy man is going to fix anything. My mom just wants him better-- I said it is time he takes care of himself. That in itself is a fight. Enough on that note- I could go on forever.

I tried to weigh myself again but I think the scale is off because it puts me at 40 pounds down. That is fast! My clothes are starting to hang on me too. I feel so much better though just knowing I am slimming down. I am still not smoking-- a 9 year habit I do not miss. So far so good, I was hoping to walk tonight but I think I should just chill.

My Little Brother Nick called last night, I think he bought a house. He says they are in the final stages of paperwork right now. He seems really nervous about it though. I tried to question him and he does not want to talk about it. He is dating a woman, for about 6 months now and I know he really loves her. However, I am a little leary for a few reasons: I found out she has been married 3 times. She is only 25 years old! 3 times ! Youch. She has twins- Boy and girl that are 6 years old. I know Nick adores them too and that is okay. Also she does not have a good job and is living with her parents. I feel like Nick is falling deep and might be getting into something he is not ready for. Her name is not on this mortgage just my brother. I am thinking with the fast pace they are moving she is just looking for another husband. I have talked to her quite a few times and thinks she is a great person. God I hope I am wrong about some things. I am trying not to worry but now my brother seems to be spending money and going into debt for her. Alright enough worrying for now. They will be up in less than a month for a visit and we will get to meet her and the kids. Hope all goes well with that too.

Honey B greeted me this morning by launching onto my bed and licking my face non stop. As much as I am not a morning person I woke up with a smile. Her tail was wagging so hard she shook the bed, and she is not a big puppy. What a nice way to say good morning huh? She is still the ligh of my life. Although she is chewing carpet again I still love her. I just want to pull all her new adult teeth out !! Lets hope the chewing stops soon. I will have to find a current picture to post of the little girl too.

Okay back to my day.

Blog at you later.

Jen

Hump Day...Spring has Sprung !

2006-04-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

Blog Time....

So I got my Motorcycle out of Storage last night and it fired up first try, YES !! The riding season has fallen upon us here in Wisconsin. This weekend is the first big run of the year, the FLOOD run, ride up the Wisconsin side of the river and come back the Minnesota side of the river. It is a beautiful ride any time of year but it is a neat way to see everything coming to bloom in the spring. I cannot wait to start riding this year-- I have so many places I want to go again and it will be fun. Riding is like my inner peace, and when I put my bike away in the winter it is like locking up my sanity. Not good. Sturgis 2006 is already planned but I have so many weekend trips I want to do as well, just me and the open road, face in the wind. There is nothing better than that.

One minor detail, I now have a puppy to deal with. Honey freaked out when I started up my bike, so we are going to have to work on that one. I do not want her afraid of my bike or any other. She will be okay I am sure I do not plan on leaving her home all summer either, we will camp and go for trips in the truck as well. My cousin has offered to puppysit/housesit if needed and I totally trust her as well.

Today I feel better than the day before but so far so good. I could use a nap this afternoon at work. I feel like my brain is not fully engaged and I forgot more than I remember in 3 weeks. Sounds sick and wrong but I am glad to be back to work and my routine. I am surrounded by good people and they keep me going so I need to be back by them.

Did I mention my Mom works at Centurytel with me? Funny story. She has been with this company 35 years this year-- she is 2 years from retirement as she needs the benefits at 55 due to my Mom and Dad both being Diabetic. They need insurance. So she claims to do as little as possible and work less and less until retirement. She is in another department than me, but we see each other on my breaks when we work the same shifts. She is funny- she knows all the oldies around the place and now all my friends and Co-workers too.

Did I also mention how much I love my mom? Well I do, but she does drive me crazy sometimes. I think that is how it is supposed to be though. She means so much to me-- we have had our ups and downs don't get me wrong. I have made plenty of mistakes that she will not let me forget. I can tell her anything ( I know when to stop though). She always seems to surprise me when I think I have no support she is there. With this surgery my family says nothing for over the year long process that it takes to get approved and on a plan. So I wondered if they cared. Well, who was there when I woke up? My momma- kissing me and telling me I was still beautiful. She is so excited to see me lose the weight and constantly comments on it to me. She is now asking questions and being so supportive. I love her so much for that right now. We are getting along so well, probably because my dad is flat on his back again. I just don't want to jinx it so I am just going to stop talking about it. Like I said we have our ups and downs--I am going to take advantage of this "Up".

Nothing else exciting here today- mailed my speeding ticket payment- I hate paying fines. What a waste of money. I was only going 10 over. heehee.

I went for a long walk with Honey B last night- It felt so good. I keep getting these bursts of energy and just cannot stop so our walk turned into like 6 miles. I feel so much better after a walk. Now I am looking for a Treadmill and some weights to work on my arms. Listen to me !! I cannot believe this is the same person. I can tell you it definitely is the same person- just improved. Woo hoo !

Okay enough for now- Blog at you later.

Jen

I'm Back !

2006-04-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

Hello Cyber People !!

So I have been away for awhile.... Oops, SORRY.

There has been a huge event in my life.

On March 28th I had Gastric Bypass Surgery...... Yep I did it. So I am 3 weeks post op and each day gets a little better and easier. It is amazing the energy that I keep acquiring each day and I seem to be in better spirits as well. So 25 pounds down already. I had my first appointment yesterday. They said that is really good and to keep it up. For my goal weight I would Like to lose about 150 pounds total. So I am already on my way !!

So I was laid up pretty good the first week, they go in Laproscopic but there were 6 incisions and a drain hole. Not so fun ! The Second week was better, and my Puppy dog Honey B actually was spayed as well. So we both stayed home to lick our wounds. She is now officially healed up as well. It was nice to stay home with her for the 3 weeks as well, I kinda miss her today, as it is my first day back to work as well. It feels good to be back though and getting into my routine again with a few minor adjustments.

So I thought I would post and keep track of my progress as well.

My Aunt had a Rummage Sale on Easter Weekend. I made $121.15 on my clothes- yep I cleaned out my closets already and boy was it worth it.

It definitely did not seem like Easter- my family did not get together, not even my brothers were around. Nick is in Mississippi and did not call, Peanut did something with the girls I guess and Dad is laid up again with Back Trouble. So Mom and I ordered applebees as a treat, I will be eating my pasta for a few days now since I can only take in about 1/2 Cup of food at a time.
So holidays are just not the same for me - maybe next year will be better I keep saying that every year. Oh well maybe when I have my own family or something it will come back. Enough of the whining now.

So there is my first post back- I am smiling and happy and hope this continues. Some busy weekends to come and there will be more blogging to be had as well.

Talk to you soon-- Jen

About Me

2006-03-14T08:12:00.000-08:00

So I just realized that I have not listed anything about myself.

Here I go:

I am 29 years old- and Forever holding. I refuse to be 30 this year, I am in complete denial.
I am single, no children and working on buying my first house.
I have been living back with my parents for almost 2 years now waiting to make the big move.
I have a Puppy, her name is Honey Biker or as I call her Honey B. She is 4 months old on Friday, she is the love of my life and has brought back some warmth in my heart I thought I had lost.

What else, oh well, I am big girl always have been. But it does not slow me down or get in my way, I am a very Social person.

I have 2 Brothers, 1 older one named Peanut 32 and a little brother Nick ( 28) as you can see we are all pretty close in age. My parents will be married 33 years the end of this month. I have four Nieces- from my older brother- Alisha 14, Katelyn 10, Becca Lynn 4, and Jessie Jade 2. They are busy and growing girls.

I am a True Biker Bitch/babe. I have been riding motorcycles since I was 16 -it was my first vehicle. I love the open road and the wind in my face. I currently own a 800 B-3 Classic Kawasaki Vulcan. I have made it my own with some customizing, chrome and paint. This year will be my 5th year to Sturgis-- 2006 here I come !

I also enjoy Camping- not really in a tent unless needed, but a Motorhome is more my style. It is my parents fault- I use their 30 foot motorhome and enjoy indoor plumbing.

I enjoy Singing Karoake-- won a few, lost a few. I also sing for weddings and friends when asked. To me, life is a song.

And Last but not least - I am a SCRAPBOOKER ! yup, I never thought I would see my self do this but after 10 years of pictures and always havinga camera I finally found something to do wtih all the Party photos.

So here I am in a nutshell, a little about me.

I am a pretty level headed person and I have some pretty big changes coming in my life in the next year-- ya know have to "get it all done" before I turn 30.

Time Flies....

2006-03-14T07:55:00.000-08:00

Back again.

I have not been here in awhile and I could kick myself for that. Time flies I guess- I have been so busy house hunting that I just have no energy when I get home or at work. Just work no outside fun. It sucks.

I had a really bad night, I get so mad that I get upset and cry- that does not happen very often but it did last night. I have a naughty puppy and she just will not listen to me. I was frustrated last night and no one cared. I need to get out of my parents house and back on my own. My days are numbered and so are Honey's.

I am trying so hard to clear my head, I have doctor appointments this week and next and then Surgery scheduled on 3/28. That will be a big change, I think I am trying to not to Think about it right now and I am just ready to get it over with. My family just can't seem to remember the date, like it is so unimportant to them. Okay that is enough, I am just ranting. Okay back to work, Felt good to just write it all down.

TTFN.

Random Thoughts

2006-02-23T11:10:00.000-08:00

Back again.

I think I might like this-- I have to thank my office cube neighbor for showing me this. So a few things I am thinking about today. We are so busy at work this week it is hard to for me to concentrate it seems. I leave this building and I just want to sit and stare off into space. I have puppy to deal with when I get home so that keeps me same she is my baby. I will have to tell you more about her later and add pictures :) .

Random Thoughts-
So much to do so little time, it seems that it was just New Years Day and now it is March in less than a week. I am freaking out because I turn 30 this year and I feel like I have so much more to accomplish in my life.

Househunting- yes this is starting to suck. I have seen so many houses I cannot keep them straight.

Working 2 Jobs- my schedule has calmed down but it is still out of control.

Surgery- a month away- gosh am I ready for all this? I have to work on the "quit smoking" much harder.

Okay I will be back later to clear my head.

That was a good start.

Phew......

My First Blog

2006-02-22T13:40:00.000-08:00

Testing, 1. 2. 3.

Here I am live and in person. My very first Blog and my first diary entry type of thing ever. They say writing and stuff soothes the soul. So here I go, soothing my own soul. I am going to make this one short and get things straight so I have more time to write. Time, what is that? I never have any it seems.....Later.

Jen